Excuse Me…Is That a Comb-Over?

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First off — sorry about the repeat send of my LAST post that likely hit your inbox last night. I was messing with my email settings and my email program grabbed my last post automatically and re-sent it. Boo!

On to your regularly scheduled programming!

I’ve kind of been over the headband.

Usually, when I get home from work, my family eats dinner, I put my kids to bed, and the first thing I want to do is rip off my topper.

Not because it’s uncomfortable. Not because it bothers me. Just because it signals to me that it’s time to relax–finally!

But, what’s a girl to do when removing her topper reveals a large patch of scalp? Let’s just hold hands and agree the look isn’t sexy, yes?

I’ve talked about it before, but usually I just throw on a headband. Normally, it’s 100% fine. In fact, here’s what I typically look like:

headband to hide womens hair loss

But, sometimes I just don’t want to deal with it.

Quite frankly, my husband hates the thing. He would much prefer I show my true self in all my glory than wear it.

Deep down, no, he doesn’t care. Just like he doesn’t care that I wear hair.

I chat with my husband throughout the day on an instant messenger-type thing. I’m writing this post at work (shh!) and asked him about this. Here’s what he had to say:

Lauren: Why do you hate my headband? I’m writing a post about it.

Hair Husband: It’s the beige bra of your head.

He spent all of two seconds writing that–he didn’t have to think about it, it just rolled off his tongue.

Touche.

And it continues:

Lauren: Haha… but you would prefer I wear nothing on my head. It’s not like you are asking for blonde in this circumstance (Lauren edit: i.e. something fun, like my blonde wig). You’d prefer no headband.

Hair Husband: As ironic as it sounds. I like you and your natural state. I have no problems with the topper. No problems with natural. But I prefer your natural state to the headband.

Lauren: I don’t get it. I’m trying to explain to my readers why.

Hair Husband: Uh, do you want me to do a guest post? Hahaha.

Lauren: Definitely not.

Hair Husband: Because I like my wife as she is. That’s why.

There you have it, folks. Not sure that truly answers why, but he’s set in his ways so that’s that.

I’ve been trying to wear my hair sans headband every now and again as a result. I certainly wouldn’t do this if I felt uncomfortable (and he wouldn’t let me if that was the case), but, I can style my hair to hide the majority of my loss.

Dearest readers, do you know what I do?

I give myself a comb-over. πŸ™‚

Ok, it’s not a true comb-over in the least, but I part my hair about another inch over than I normally would and that helps to provide more coverage than my existing part does. Sometimes I throw on a bit of Joan Rivers Great Hair Day Power (color: blonde!) if I notice a spot or two peeking through, but that’s about it.

A quick tease, a spritz of hairspray if necessary, and I’m done.

comb over hide hair loss

It’s been kind of nice to not have to wear that headband–but I’m grateful to know that trusty ol’ gal is sitting in my bathroom, waiting for me if I need her.

30 thoughts on “Excuse Me…Is That a Comb-Over?”

  1. Serious question; I’m a man with similar hair loss pattern to yours and ALL I hear from other people is ‘shave your head’, ‘keep it short’, ‘man up’. For the past year now I’ve been using concealers to the effect that no one really knows I’m losing my hair – similar to you. My question is why is it such a stigma for a guy to try and hold on to his hair and cover up his hair loss? I’m not doing anything wrong, per se, but it seems the world and his wife want me to shave my head otherwise I’m not a man. I think I will look uglier, more agressive, and older with a shaved head, and at 28 I can’t say I’m jumping for joy at the idea. Am I being foolish in trying to use concealers and postpone the inevitable? I know there’s a difference between MPB and other types of alopecia, but aesthetically it’s the same page. If I was dating a girl who felt she had to use concealers I wouldn’t think ‘you’re hiding your true self’ whereas vice versa it seems that that would be the case.

    • There’s a double standard with most things in life, don’t you think? We don’t talk about your side in the women’s community too much (aside from the fact that “bald is sexy” when it comes to men), but we do often talk about how a large population of the African American community wears fake hair and it’s no big deal.

      • Btw your “combover” style looks great, as it seems like side part ponytails are very classic and vintage hair styles. Dita Von Teese wears her ponytail like this most of the time.

    • I’m quite thinned with the addition of having started to recede from the very front, sometimes envying the Woody Allen types of hairloss who only lost the back part but kept most of thickness on front to this very day in 50 years https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5cc21b88240000330038aa74.jpeg?ops=scalefit_630_noupscale, I have to say I like myself buzzed and almost shaved in my 30’s, as my head shape is regular and proportioned enought to the face, although the ideal to me would have been a tiny bit smaller. I find that as long as the head is proportioned lots of women also look great buzzed or shaved, even some with more substantial traits and jaws can look feminine to me, like Sigourney Weaver thourougly shown in Alien.
      That said I sometimes also like some variation and disguise working with what I have like you do, which to me are the two sides of confidence, going for hawk like forward-most arranged hair length, as I see some men which I assume having little to no hair like me going for that, but the wind is always a risk and you have to rely on hair spray which is what drives me toward buzzing again after an attempt of regrowth :D. I’m among the ones that avoid looking that much aggressive when shaved, along with avoiding the “lantern” or lightbulb effect on the other side of the spectrum, at least that I know.
      Imho the problem with combovers for has been the same as socks and sandals, ironically, it’s association with old men and doing it wrong without thinking, I.e throwing on the first white tube socks with hiking sandals without intentionality or taste at all in pairing. Ankle Socks and sandals on a woman, unless she’s not dressed like the (stereotypical) german or american tourist, tends to look cute and stylish, as socks often match the sandals or the colors is well coordinated, their texture is nice, sandals are heeled or if flats they are still stylish with leather straps.
      The problem is seeing the usual combover attempt of greasy or extremely flat hair with a geometrical low part going on straight as a band which looks innatural and make you even more bald looking than buzzed or shaved hair! And sometimes, in an attempt of spreading it all over with no planning at all, it disperses into nothingness the farther it goes from the part, even worse with groups of hair that knot together with a doll effect, typical, if we think about an analog principle, of old transplants. Large graft that give less coverage as hair is not finely distributed.
      I wanna ally to fight unimaginative double standards with you, many shaved women are as sexy as shaved men, at the same times, men should also be allowed to disguise, as long as it looks reasonable without being called insegure.

  2. Amazing husband, first of all! And, your comb over is awesome! Unfortunately, I’ve got hair loss on the sides and back, too, not just the top, so that doesn’t work for me! I’ve been wearing scarves and hats a lot lately, since I’m pregnant again (with my fourth-oldest is 16!)-suprisingly-and I can’t hardly even get out of bed with nausea all day. But, my head gets hot, and I’d just like to throw it off and go natural, but even after 18 years of marriage, I’m very self-conscious. Although, we’ve been talking more about it lately. Very encouraging post. πŸ™‚

  3. Sort of a spinoff question … what does one do to thin out a topper? Is this an easy fix by a hair stylist? I just got a human hair topper, and it’s too full. I’d like to fix the part and thin it out, but I have no idea what I’m doing.

  4. Haha comb over sounds hilarious but honestly it looks great on you. Just make sure you put that headband somewhere safe or your husband might take the opportunity to bin it πŸ™‚

  5. I’ve definitely learned to love the comb over, it is so much easier than spending thirty minutes trying to conceal my thinning hairline! Headbands and I are also good friends from way back, but I have trouble finding ones that don’t hurt my sensitive scalp. My favorite ones are definitely these 3-in-1 jersey headbands I found that can go from a normal headband all the way back to a full coverage kerchief depending on what I feel like at the time. Here is a picture of what they look like: https://i.imgur.com/pDrQemj.png

    Anyway, thank you for your awesome blog! Your posts always make me feel way less alone in my battle.

  6. Lori J, I agree with you! I have been wearing a topper for about 4 months now and I’m so glad to not be hiding under a hat anymore! My hair loss it to the point where there are no more tricks to make it look fuller, so a topper or wig it is! I’ve even made peace with the fact that my hair will probably not grow back. Am I happy about it? No, not at all. But all I can do is move on and wear a topper that looks better than my bio hair ever did on its best days! And I also don’t really care if people find out I’m wearing a wig. I mean I don’t walk around announcing it to every person I see. However if people can figure it out that’s it’s not real hair, then good for them.

  7. I want to chime in and encourage all of your readers who are considering toppers to definitely take that plunge. For over 10 years I have wasted 2 hours of my life everyday trying to hide what really couldn’t be hidden. Now for the past few weeks I blow dry my bio hair, snap my topper on, spend 10 minutes touching it up w/curling iron and instant glam! My husband loves it on me and He says it’s better than my bio in has been in past 20 years, and now he wants to buy another one for me.
    I changed my hair color to a warmer brown and my make up looks better with that color. It has youthful wispy bangs and some layers cut in – no more comb overs! I can wear my hair in so many amazing styles- oh hair heaven has arrived – I am a new woman!
    Now instead of hiding from the world, locked away in my home – I am making plans of all the places that I want to go and things that I want to do.
    I am blessed to have my life back and I encourage you to get a “hair helper” be it synthetic or human hair. It is freeing. One last thing…I do not care if anyone knows or discovers my topper…I know what is underneath and I thank God for what I now have on top. *I have foolef 2 hair dressers and some friends. That’s what a difference a good topper can make in your life. Ladies, set yourself free!!!! β™‘β™‘β™‘

  8. Wow! That’s great that you can pull off NOT wearing hair. I can’t anymore πŸ™ You look great no matter what Lauren!

  9. I’m so glad to have found this blog. I have been wearing a topper for 2 months and I am still very self conscious about it. I went from super fine ,all over hair loss to having hair and everyone I see on a daily basis noticed. No one said anything but they look up there. Ugh. I am also trying to make the hair look real and natural. I feel like the front looks wiggy. Anyway, my topper is bonded and I am trying to decide if I should just use clips next time.
    Lauren have you tired bonding your topper?

  10. Yeah seriously! Your hair looks 1000 times better than mine does right now. I love how accepting your husband is of everything! I hope my guy is the same. But then again, if he has an issue with it that says a lot more about him than it does me!

  11. what’s better? Joan Rivers hair powder or Bumble and bumble?
    I’m currently using Cabooki – which looks ok, but wonder whats better and more economical since I have to use a lot of it.
    wren

  12. Hey Lauren! I love your blog, it keeps me from getting too down on myself about my hair loss. I’m thinking of getting some of the Joan rivers hair powder and wondered why you use the blonde?

  13. Wow! It doesn’t even look like you have hair loss in either picture! The 2nd looks especially good, I can see why he prefers you without the headband! Does it seem to you like your loss is getting better or are you just getting better at disguising it?

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