Yep, it’s true. My hair stylist broke up with me when she found out I started wearing supplemental hair. And to make it worse, she did it over text.
So twenty-first century, don’t you think?
How the process with her works is you call and leave a message requesting your desired appointment time, and then she has her assistant call or text you back confirming the time. This time, though, I had another question to ask her.
Lauren: Hi Emily, thanks for getting back to me. Tuesday at 5:30pm works for me, but I have a question. Does Vicki cut supplemental hair?
Emily: What’s that? Would Vicki know if I ask her?
Lauren: I started wearing a synthetic hair topper on top of my regular hair to help conceal my hair loss.
Emily: Is it fake hair or something?
Lauren: Yes. Would she cut it to help it blend?
Emily: Your regular hair or this new hair?
Lauren: Both would need cut.
[A good hour passes]
Emily: Hi Lauren. I spoke to Vicki and she doesn’t do that. Good luck!
And just like that, my three-year relationship with my stylist ended. I know that’s not super-long by any means, but I really liked her since she was an expert at getting my hair to my ideal color (I’ve talked about it before – no gold, no red, just kind of boring-neutral).
I was really, really surprised (well, I was surprised but then not at all at the same time) that 1) her assistant didn’t know what supplemental hair was and 2) Vicki wasn’t even willing to try to keep a somewhat long-term client.
Since there are so many women with hair loss, I had assumed that they (and I say “they”, but I guess I mean the assistant) would at least know what supplemental hair was. Maybe it was the term I used, who knows.
Some stylists, too, seem to be nervous when it comes to cutting helper hair. I get it – I know if a mistake is made this hair doesn’t grow back. But, I have a need and I was bummed that it wasn’t being met. It was as if I had *finally* found my solution (hair!), but now I reached another stumbling block.
What’s a girl to do?
I became my own hair stylist.
It’s not perfect by any means, but it works. I’m also “blessed” because I wear my hair straight with some layers, so I use my bio hair as the bottom layer of my “do” and the topper just lays on top of that.
Check it out:
(Side note – seeing how long my hair is totally makes me think of the Amanda by Jon Renau. Check it out at wigs.com. I’ve tried this wig before and it looks exactly like my bio hair + topper.)
Aren’t you proud of me for using actual scissors this time (granted, they aren’t actual hair-cutting shears) and not manicure scissors? Eh, you make do with what you have, right?
For the record, most stylists can indeed cut wigs and toppers – I don’t think there are any skills necessary outside of the ordinary to do it (someone correct me if I am wrong!). The only consideration I’ve heard is that synthetic hair might dull scissors, so it’s recommended that stylists have a separate pair for cutting that kind of hair.
But, since hair stylist is unwilling to cut my hair, I have to make do. I think it looks pretty good for an at-home job.
I’m always surprised, too, at how much better my topper feels after I “fix” my bio hair. Even though my real hair is very thin and lifeless, it still helps to make my topper feel and swing better.
What do you guys think? Am I crazy?
You are SUCH an inspiration. I know you must hear this a lot, but…WOW! I love your mindset and ease around it, too. I’ve been needing to accept my hair loss for a while now and move on to trying a topper or wig, and you are the piece that has given me the courage. I’ve been reading your site for months and have many pages (and toppers!) saved. 🙂 I hope you know you’re making a difference.
You’re so sweet, but please know the will to move forward comes from within you – YOU have within you the pieces to move forward. I’m just the crazy one with the bare scalp on the internet. 😉
I’ve worked in the hair industry for over 15 years and I can tell you one thing that is inherent in that field: decent customer service is severely lacking. What your stylist SHOULD have done, is contacted you directly and had a conversation with you about whats going on. If she can cut hair, she can cut supplemental hair, there is very little difference. Just the fact that her assistant said “is it fake hair or something?” proves their insensitivity and lack of education about customer services. Speaking of education, to become a licensed cosmologists most states require significant hours dedicated to arranging, brushing, dressing, curling, waving, cleansing, shampooing, cutting, trimming, singeing, bleaching, coloring, tinting, dyeing, straightening, relaxing or similarly treating a wig, wiglet or hairpiece made of human hair or synthetics. I’m sorry you had to go through this experience and I hope you’ve since found a hairstylists with a more evolved sense of their customers needs.
All very good points! Thanks, Kai!
Hi Lauren,
Thank you so much for this video! I have been fortunate that my stylist has been very supportive during my hair loss journey. There’s a hair loss specialist on staff who orders my pieces for me but it’s my long-term stylist who cuts it and styles it for me. She was definitely nervous the first time she cut it since the hair cut obviously would not grow back but she’s a lot more confident now.
I was thinking of starting to cut my bio hair from time to time because I do get a little embarrassed with my bio hair’s appearance. Having to walk through the salon from the shampoo area to my hairdresser’s seat in front of everyone is such a nightmare! Your video made it look easy so I’ll probably give it a try. Thanks! 🙂
Just go slow!
First, you are a riot with those scissors.
Second, I dread going to the hair dressers. I have gotten so many uncomfortable reactions to my hair loss by so called professionals. I trim my own hair too. I do have hair dresser shears though!!
Lastly, thank you for putting yourself out there and helping those of us who are too paralyzed with fear and embarrassment that we don’t know what to do first. I got a Noriko topper and it has done so much for my self esteem. I wouldn’t have even known what a topper was if it weren’t for your blog. Please keep it up. Your information, knowledge and courage is much appreciated!!
Ooh, which Noriko did you get?
I’ve been wearing full wigs for about 2 years and have been able to avoid a stylist due to trimming my own bio hair and just putting it up into the wig. Now that my own hair is long enough I have ordered toppers and was dreading having to go to a stylist for the reasons you mentioned in the video. I will await my toppers with confidence now that I see how simple your method is and knowing I can still do this from the confines of my own home!! haha Thanks so much for posting this video, and I greatly enjoy your blog! 🙂
Just use good shears, haha.
How awful! She was so embarrassed at being outed with her inexperience with toppers she couldn’t bear to see you again. What a gross display of immaturity.
Kinda sad, huh?
Wow, that is so interesting and so disappointing. I’ve had quite the opposite experience. I’ve been going to the same stylist and colorist (2 different people) for 5+ years now so they are very familiar with my hair. When I decided to wear a topper, I wasn’t totally sure how it would go over. The first time I booked an appointment post-topper, I requested an appointment in their private room (I don’t think it always acts as a private room for cuts & color but it seems that some of their other clients make similar requests.) I brought my topper in instead of wearing it because I wanted to prep my colorist first. I took it out, and she was so excited. Apparently she colors wigs and toppers so she was able to put low lights in mine to make it look more natural. When I met with my stylist, she was equally enthusiastic and was able to cut the topper with some layers, again to make it more like the way I wear my bio hair. When all was done, they were both blown away by how natural it looked. Since they are both in the hair business, this made me feel really confident about it. I have a new topper that I purchased for the winter (the color is darker and closer to my natural hair color. I didn’t want to over-dye the other one.) and I have an appointment in a few weeks to have it cut. So the moral of the story is that there are some amazing people out there and those are the ones that support you. I hope you’re able to find someone great if you ever decide to look for one.
So jealous! I have since found someone that I plan to go to if the need arises. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise – good hair is expensive and if my old stylist was going to be resistant and nervous cutting it, perhaps our break up was for the better. 🙂
When you are hair-challenged, there’s a huge amount of vulnerability with your stylist/colorist. It’s so important to have ones that are supportive and caring because there’s nothing that I’m more self conscious about. There is a funny irony though – I spend so much for my cut/color and 95% of it is covered by my topper! lol. I’m glad you found someone new – hey, everything happens for a reason!
My former hairstylist, who had cut my families hair for a few years, told me that she no longer had “time” to cut my kids hair. She told me this while I was bald from chemo. Needless to say I didn’t go back to her when my hair grew back.
How frustrating!
Hi Lauren,
Excellent video! I have a question – what kind of brush do you use? It’s great that you can use it on both your bio hair and your topper. Thanks! 🙂
Hi Patti – I use the Tangle Teezer. It’s awesome for both bio and helper hair. It’s important to use the right brush on helper hair…gotta be gentle!