I’ve been meaning to post more lately, but all things recently came to a halt because I had my baby! For those of you that follow this blog, you know that I started Pregnitude earlier this year in an attempt to get pregnant and–suprise!–it actually worked! You can read about my Pregnitude story here.
Of course, I was super happy to be pregnant (aside from the morning sickness and all that), but my happiness quickly turned into anxiety. I think many women, even before they have a gender-determination ultrasound, know what they are having. Obviously, I know there was always a chance that I would have a girl, but early on my pregnancy I REALLY started freaking out that it was a girl. My intuition has always been correct on most major things in life, so as my pregnancy progressed, I had to come to terms with all the pink that was about to happen.
What’s so bad about having a girl? Well, nothing, of course. Unless you have convinced yourself that you are going to pass down your bad-hair and PCOS genes down to her.
At first, I brushed off my intuition since it was still so early. As my pregnancy progressed and I started having more symptoms, I realized said symptoms were entirely different than my pregnancy with my son. Whereas I shed a bunch of hair up until 20 weeks with my son, I had no shedding this time (thank God, because there really isn’t anything left to shed). I had bad acne along my jawline with my first; my skin was pretty dang clear this time. My aches and pains were minimal with my son. I developed SPD this time around (don’t know what it is? Google it. Not fun. Basically, it’s excruciating crotch pain that stemmed from my hips going out of alignment) and couldn’t turn over in bed or walk efficiently alot of the time. Heck, even the heartbeat was high, which typically indicates a girl over a boy in the old wives tale. Things were just completely different this time. Everyone says it really doesn’t matter and that every pregnancy is different. But, I knew the baby was a she. And the more I thought about it the more I panicked. Ironically enough, I wanted to be “team green” this time. My husband threw a fit about it, but I really wanted to be surprised about the sex at the birth, rather than finding out early. Or, maybe since I already knew, I could hold out hope that it was a boy just a bit longer going this way.
There were many nights that I cried to my husband about it. He knows about this blog, of course, but I doubt he checks it. He knows I have hair loss and PCOS but I do my concealers and my toppers out of sight. He doesn’t truly know HOW bad things are because I keep it from him. So, when I started hyperventilating about the fact that our daughter would have a very good chance of having the same condition, he couldn’t really get it. When I tearfully told him that I’d have to be the Mom that does french braids and bows and stuff and in doing so I’d feel like a complete fraud he looked at me blankly.
What was worse was that I didn’t know what to do with these feelings. I wasn’t unhappy about the pregnancy by any means, but I felt alone. My husband didn’t understand my fears, and I had no one else to talk to about this. I was scared about how I would handle this after she was born, too. How I would present myself and my condition to her? How I would handle her questions about my toppers (and eventual wigs?!)? How I would help her when she realizes that she will likely have the same fate as me?
So, how I decided to handle it for many months was simply not to. As she grew inside me, so did my to-do list. Up until just a few weeks before the birth, I had nothing done: no clothes, no prepared nursery, nothing. I had my son early, at 35 weeks, so once I hit week 32 or so I went into overdrive. We painted her room in gender-neutral gray and white stripes and settled on doing purple and coral accents after the birth. We finally bought some clothes…for some reason these were a mystery to me. I didn’t realize girls wear tutus so early in the game. And headbands and stuff. I was just so used to boy stuff! I did get a few boys pieces, too, just in case, but we really stocked up on the girl stuff. I didn’t really feel ready emotionally for a girl, but if she was coming, at least I had some “stuff” to get us through.
On October 24, my water broke at work and it was go-time. I had my son really, REALLY fast so we rushed to the hospital as fast as we could. It was a pretty painful experience and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to get an epidural. My contractions started within 30 minutes of my water breaking and they were two to three minutes apart. It took about an hour from the time I left work to the time I got into the actual hospital room. By this time I was a hot, screaming, sweaty mess. But, I still made sure to check that my concealers weren’t dripping throughout all the sweat. 🙂 A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. The nurses asked me a zillion questions through the contractions and took my blood so that I could get my epi. I remembered with my son it took about an hour for my blood to be tested before they could administer the epi; I knew I didn’t have an hour at the rate things were going. That really freaked me out because I was in a ton of pain and wasn’t sure I’d be able to deliver without some pain relief. Throughout my shrieks, I kept asking, “how much longer? how much longer?”
Finally, they wheeled the cart with the epidural in–thank GOD! Then nurse said she had to check me one more time before I got it, and she did. And I was fully dilated. My epi was denied and even though I begged for it anyways, it wasn’t in the cards and I had to do it all-natural. Lots of women do this every day without meds, but since doing it this way wasn’t in my plan, it really made me anxious and probably made the pain worse.
The baby was definitely coming but the doc wasn’t there yet, so the nurses kept telling me not to push. Those of you that have children know that at some point, stopping what your body is trying to do just isn’t possible. He finally arrived, got his gown on, and with three or so pushes my baby was out. From the time my water broke to the time I delivered was two hours and 33 minutes. And score, my Bumble & Bumble didn’t drip!!
I immediately felt better and was enjoying a few moments of quiet while the doc did whatever he did with the baby (suctioning and stuff, I guess). Finally, it was time. He asked if I wanted to meet my baby. Of course I did! After all that hard work and pain at this point I didn’t even care that it was a girl as all my insecurities were gone…I just wanted to meet and hold and snuggle her.
He lifted the baby up and onto my chest and told me the three words I never imagined I’d hear: “It’s a boy!”
Wow.
So, meet my (Pregnitude) baby boy!
And seriously — check out his hair! I’m totally envious (in a good way because it’s beautiful!)
Hi Lauren , I know this is years later & I’m super late but I just started Pregnitude last week & I’ve experienced some cramping out of this world for about two days & then it just stopped. Should i be concerned , or did you also experience cramping while taking Pregnitude ?
Hi Taquesta – I didn’t have any cramping, no. Could you be ovulating?
Hi I just read your story first I wanna say congrats also do you think pregnitude will help me I been off my birth control mirena for about 2 1/2 years and being trying every since with no luck
I think it could, yes, but I KNOW you’ll never know until you try!
Hello Lauren, I babe been trying to conceive my for about two years there no outcome. Had been on metformin and no answer there. Can you point me in the right direction.. Me & husband been married about 2years.We have a two hear old boy already I had him with no cycle at all. Got diagnosed with PICS this year 2016
Pregnitude could be worth a try – what does your doc say?
I am TTC after my second daughter since last 5 yrs. have regular periods. Can pregnitude help me, when I m already 37 of age
Sure, it can!
Hi Lauren,
Late congrats on you baby! 🙂
too late I know , but I just found your story while searching for Pregnitude results.
I have PCOS & I’m TTC since I’ve got married 4yrs ago with no luck, so I’m starting a course with Pregnitude and loosing some weight”hopefully” though its hard with PCOS ,
for how long did you use it?
did you need to lose weight?
and also on which level was your PCOS?
Thank you & good luck ( I hope u understand my language coz I’m not a native speaker)
Thanks, Lulu! He’s 2.5 now. 🙂 To answer your questions: I used it for about 2 months. I was at the high end of my normal weight range, however not overweight. Not sure what you are asking about what “level” of PCOS, however, I would say I have a mild case. No major outward symptoms (aside from hairloss) as many women experience weight gain, severe acne, excess hair on the body, etc.
Good luck!
I’m super late on this but I loved your story!Thank you for sharing it. I’m on day one of Pregnitude. I have a completely blocked left fallopian tube and my right is partial blocked. I got pregnant with daughter who will be 2 this July when I was 36, after 15 years of being told I couldn’t get pregnant. She scooted her little egg past those blockages! My Dr sent me for fertility testing and my fsh came back in what he called the grey area and I asked if there was something I could take that was natural and he gave me pregnitude. Reading your story gives me hope! Again thank you for sharing!!
Jenine
Keeping in constant prayer for #2!
congratulations! you are a trooper – no epidural!!
and trust me, you weren’t alone in your fears about passing it down to a daughter. i face that fear everyday while i’m brushing my daughter’s hair, if she loses a few hairs i am gripped with anxiety.
as always, thank you for sharing your life with us!
Thanks Andrea!
Lauren! Oh my gosh, congratulations! He is BEAUTIFUL! And good job with the natural child birth, that is fantastic! I think anyone would freak out under those conditions but it happens and you handled it and got through with flying colors. I totally understand about the hair and the fear of passing it your daughter. My daughter has naturally fine hair, just like me, and I am constantly looking at it for scalp showing through. Then I also remind myself that while I may or may not have inherited this hair loss from my mom (I never noticed her loss until after she went through menopause, plus her hair has been nearly all white, with some dark gray, for years now), anyways, my sister didn’t seem to inherit it, and neither my aunt nor my grandma, nor my great grandma had hair loss so I am not convinced it is hereditary.
I also understand about hiding your concealers and hair pieces from your hubby and how he doesn’t fully understand. My fiance is the same way. I told him about my hair loss quite awhile ago but he doesn’t truly get it and he has never seen my hair without concealers.
Anyways, congrats on that sweet baby boy!!
Thanks, Kim! My mom has thinning hair, but it’s nowhere near what I have. It looks “normal” for her age, maybe a little bit worse than her peers. She definitely has more on top than I do. I’m also not 100% sure it’s hereditary, but, gosh, it’s scary!
I still owe you a follow up to my topper post. 🙂
Congratulations on your beautiful baby BOY! 🙂 He is gorgeous! Thanks for sharing your labour! I have a 3 year old boy and my hubby and I are trying for a second. Very excited but anxious to have another baby one day. Love your blog, keep up the great work!!
Thank you! I hope you get #2 really soon!
Congrats in the new arrival! I can’t wait to meet my “Pregnitude” baby in March! It’s supposed to be a girl! 🙂
Yay! Considering how fast time will go with the holidays, March is right around the corner!
Ahhhh congratulations. What a great story and happy to hear you both and healthy and happy. Hopefully your are settling into a new routine, I know the jump from 1 to 2 is crazy. I understand where you are coming from with your fears as I have two girls. I often wonder how I will handle their questions about my hair loss, wearing toppers and will it happen to them. I think you are a great example for both boys and girls.
I do apologize for such a late response in regards to your reply to my many personal questions. I have been out of town and also switched to a new internet carried which has not gone smoothly. Thank you so much for spending the time to respond to all of my questions about your experience wearing the topper. It was very helpful, eye opening and encouraging. I was happy to hear you had many of the same thoughts and approaches I hope I will have once I make the move. I hope your experience is making living a folliclely challenged life more bearable. I am trying very hard to find the time to get out and find something that works for me. Where did you purchase your human hair topper and did you go in to get it or did you order it online? I look forward to hearing more about your experience, it is very encouraging for me and from what I read of the other comments I see here, for others too.
Congratulations again – enjoy this wonderful and precious time.
Julia
Thanks Julia!
I got my human hair topper from a place in Tampa; yes, I went in. I wasn’t confident enough to order online for my first “real” piece. Hoping that will change when I’m ready for another. I’ll post about that one soon.
CONGRATULATIONS!! I am sooo happy for you & your family for your beautiful little blessing! You give me so much hope! Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thanks. 🙂